Gnosis

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Ending Something Special

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Many times you will find relationship advice that was written to sound superficial and cheesy. You hear of articles and advice columns shelling out consolations to the broken hearted. Licking your wounds appears to be the new hobby of importance here in the United States and it should come as no surprise that a whole industry sprang up to ameliorate those of us (and we all have it) who have had someone we love and lost them..

man-crying-1 I disagree with most of the mainstream world view. I was once a man who would pout and cry and bemoan my lot in life. I would sit and stare into space and ask myself: “Why God am I cursed? Why am I a failure at love when all I want to do is make her happy and give her what she says she wants?” It never occurred to me that what I should have been doing, is let go. We all have those dreams with someone we loved. A horrible breakup occurs, beating and bruised heats are left in dust. Our promises go unfulfilled. That is life. That happens and will continue to happen to us as time moves forward. All we can do is let it pass and enjoy those brief moments that we are happy with the ones we love and let them know it.

Do I miss my someone special? Yes. I miss her and love her more than she will know. The problem is one of power struggles. When we enter a relationship we are quickly ready to give up what we want and our dreams just for the opportunity to make another person happy. When we do this, the other person sees us as weak and less worthy of their love. In my last relationship, I gave up a lot to be with my ex. I sacrificed many of my dreams and hopes and ambition so that she would know that she was the most important woman in the world to me. And she burned me for it. She cut me with surgical precision and examined my insides. She learned how I feel and what I wanted and promised me those things that would make me happy. And then she never completed those promises. Each time I saw her or heard her voice I would be in shock at the love I felt for her, She was the one, the special girl, my beautiful princess. In my eyes she could do nothing wrong that would stop me from loving her and accepting her. I believed her and had all the confidence and faith in her… that a man could give a woman.

the-alpha-man-figure-horus-001-e1303859910212 For that, I was rewarded with being a toy. I became a weak minded little boy. I was in love with a girl and the only thing I could do was act like an idiot and try to win her heart. What I lost was her respect and admiration. When someone doesn’t respect you, they don’t love you. And so she broke my heart, many times and in many ways. And I let her because that was who I was. I let her walk all over me because I was weak and feebleminded. I was a fool in love with her. I was her slave… devoted and loyal… like a little puppy waiting for praise.

When she broke my heart this last time, I had no energy left in me. I couldn’t continue to be that man. I refused to be weak and let her use me. So I left and told her that I loved her and that it would be better for both of us if the relationship ended. I still have some love for her, but the love I have now is one of caution. I want her to be happy. I want her to find her true love and to be a great success. That successful girl who finds love and is happy … that is what I want for her… but I will not be that man at her side.

That weak man she knew is dead. He died along with my hopes of finding a nice woman who will not harm me for showing her love. The man that is here is cold.

I am ambition, driven, and working out. I am a new man, a different man with different needs and desires. I require more than the younger me. I want more and I will work harder and smarter for better things. I deserve those nice things and a nice woman by my side. Never again will I give up my dreams to make another woman happy. They are mine and mine alone. Any woman I meet, any woman who desires me should know that I am not afraid to break up with them if they do not meet my expectations. I have standards now.

All I can say is thank you ex girlfriend. My love for you and the pain in my heart has made me stronger. You helped change me and for that I will always remember you and hold you in a positive light. You were a teacher to me in more ways than you will know. I do not miss you. I do not love you anymore and I think about you only to remind myself of what you lost.

He commands a higher price, and he demands a better woman at his side. Nothing less than perfection. The world is his world and the rules are his rules. 

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Behold the new man… he doesn’t even know you exist.

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Written by Josecito

September 9, 2011 at 8:39 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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