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Emptiness and Soul

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rainfall_waterdrops_in_rainforest_scenery_wallpaper For some reason today I am happy to have my dog bothering me more then her usual amount. It has always been my belief that animals tend to notice when we are upset, depressed or lonely. Bella always seems to notice when it is time to cheer me up or distract me (and also times when she shouldn’t distract me but does it anyway!) It must be the massive amounts of rainfall that I see outside my window. Pounding down moment after moment into a sea of tranquility that drowns out all but its’ own being. Heavy rainfalls have always been one of my favorite events and today is no different despite the void that is inside of me that craves filling. Oftentimes when the weather is the wettest I feel an urgent desire to run out to a local park and take a long walk. You’d be amazed at what you can’t hear when you’re surrounded by nature in an ocean falling to the earth. The raindrops leave a slight chill to your skin that causes goose bumps; the body increases its heat to compensate, fogging the glasses and leaving me seeing the world through my eyes as God intended: naked and flawed. It is at that moment, when no one is around, when the sound of the earth and its’ living creatures is silenced that I truly feel alone and empty.

Runningintherain1 The moment happens in a split second. Your skin, cold to the touch sends shivers up your spine. Looking left, then right, you see no one. Your body, aware that the social web has been disconnected, begins to send out the alarms for adrenaline. You spin around suspecting that someone or something is about to pounce and destroy you (like some Rockwell song). The eyes open wide, pupils dilate; the lungs fill with air and yet nothing’s quite there. In that second you realize you are in that moment that so many people call the sweet spot. What has eluded people time after time has found you when you chose not to seek it: it is the state of being in the moment. All your senses are awakened, even the ones you pretended didn’t exist after you grew up. The sound of the rain is everywhere. The leaves, the floor and the very dirt echo the sounds of uncountable droplets hitting everything. The air becomes clean and you smell things as they were before we existed. Your electrified and your heart beats seemingly louder inside your head as if it were ready to burst. The world becomes magnificent, powerful, strange and frightful as you peer into the wilderness around you. The road could have been left generations ago, the place you were no longer is. You have come home.

running-in-the-rain Alone with my thoughts in this primordial forest I realize just how far we have moved from our true natures and reason for being. We are hunters, animals really and when nothing artificial is around us we will revert back to our ancient normal selves. There wasn’t a care in the world at that moment. No concept of time, place, age or social norm. My career and education didn’t matter, nor were even a speck of a thought. I gazed and marveled in astonishment at my surroundings and what to do next. My mind and body, not caring about modern history and my lack of physical exercise said: GO. So I went. Running through the woods, soaked and sloshing. The garments clung to me like a plastic bag over a child’s head. In the moment one doesn’t care for conventional wisdom, only that our souls tell us is right and good. I was encumbered by unimportant things. I was bulky. I was slow. My body did the only thing that made sense. It shed my second skin, it lightened the heavy and bulky load.

I continued to go, lighter and faster then before, the skin alive and the mind at one with its’ world.

The moment was I. I was the moment. The two are inseparable as no other can share in another’s experience.

For one brief instance, I was homosapien. Alone I stood amongst the trees, and lived as I should live.


Written by Josecito

March 23, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

2 Responses

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    March 25, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    • Really? Why? I wrote this in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep and felt the need to ‘put words on paper’.


      March 29, 2011 at 12:23 am

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