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Day 5 – The competitor friend.

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Ok since this is the last day and well Friday, I am going to try and make this blog post a little shorter and hope that you have a good weekend. With that, on to the last type of person gripe! Granted, there are lots of other types, I just wanted to post this as the ‘last one’ meaning that I will not be discussing this next week but will move on to another topic as I feel like this one is played itself out.

this-mom-beauty-pageants-280x280 The Competitor friend is not a real friend. A friendship does not need to be a race between people for it to be healthy. Mind you I am not talking about a friendly race or bet that is taken lightly but rather the type of friendship where each person tries to outdo the other in some fashion. Take the Joneses example : you have two sets of neighbors who are friends, one gets a tv, the other one has to get a bigger one. A new car is trumped by a newer more expensive car. These types of friendships are merely friendly bouts of low self esteem masked by the lie of friendship. You and your friend are compensating and using this as a means of finding self worth. Sadly, the competition usually does not end up with a positive ending for both, usually one has to be the winner. In this type of friendship, if you have a friend who is always trying to compete or outdo you in some aspect of your life, usually they want you to feel like they won. They do this in order to make themselves feel important. Usually this behavior is the result of low self esteem and the need to have  running tally as a reminder of themselves being important in some way. The number of sexual partners, number of drinks they beat you on, the number of games they won, all can serve as the means of making the competitor friend feel important and worth something.

handle-parents-while-coaching-2 The worst part of this friendship is that it is very hard to ease them into understanding that they are important without needing to compete. To tell them that you value them without the competition is anathema to their way of living. A lack of self love and feeling of self worth will always be a hole, a void that exists and no matter how many little trophies or scorecards they earn in life, they will never feel valued or important. When they reach the age where they can no longer compete successfully in their former areas of ability, they will usually revert to becoming a toxic friend who belittles others based on their own past successes. You can see this in the aged cheerleader who wears too much makeup and hates “ugly people”. The sad reality of it is that she hates her meaningless and hollow existence and must insult others in order to regain her former youth and beauty. That beauty, which in many ways is trivial and she believed when she was younger, never existed. She made it the cornerstone of her early years and never developed her internal personality. Now that she is old and haggard, her reason for being happy vanished and she has a void. She still thinks she is prettiest, and that everyone is uglier then she is and will never stop at her attempts to be the center of attention (which she craves for validation). She is willing to do horrible things to people and herself in order to achieve a measure of her former glory including adultery, group sex, exhibitionism, and other erotic displays. All of this happens because she can no longer compete and must try to get you to acknowledge that she is still #1. Soulless and lost among the millions of other vacuous herds of morons aiming to appear important she, like every other competitor past its prime, will move to the final stage of their lives: living through others.

child_beauty_pageant_01 These are the people you see who raise their kids to be 6 year old beauty queens. They are the one’s obsessed with their child’s soccer practice, and with little Johnny winning the ice hockey game. They obsess about it because they see themselves in their kids and desperately want to return to their youth when people thought they were important. Since they can not, they start the cycle over again by forcing it onto their children. They fight, spit and insult anyone else who, like themselves, competes unsuccessfully. They measure their child’s wins as their own, and you and your child’s losses as their gain. If you see or know people who are like this, do not play into their mind games. Do not validate them or their children, or their measures of success. Doing so only continues the cycle and enforces the ideals that caused the issue. Little Johnny in their mind didn’t win the game, they did because they coached little Johnny. Little Mary isn’t pretty, nor is she the winner of the Miss Sunshine Pageant, her 49 year old haggard and psychotic mother is the winner. Her daughter will grow up as hollow as she is and be sexualize at a very young age. She will be brainwashed into believing that the only thing that matters is beauty and sex and that she can get anything she wants via a batted eye and a few minutes in the backseat of the quarterback’s (or her professor’s) car. She will be nothing more then an object, and treated as such, until she relives it through her children.


Written by Josecito

March 4, 2011 at 11:09 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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