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A new week, a weeks’ worth of topics

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Since I tend to write about some rather dull subject matter, I have opted for a change this week. For the next five days I am going to write about something that I feel affects us all and in a negative way. We run into it every day of our lives, or allow it into our private existence only to be burned later on by them. I am referring to toxic people and the toxic manner that they thing or go about their daily activities. Why am I writing on this series of people? Well it occurred to be recently just how easily it is to be deceived or be made a fool of or taken advantage of by these particular sets of people or manners of thinking and I wanted to write about it. So for the next few days I am going to pick one type of personality or attitude and write about it for a short bit.

So here goes:

DAY 1 – The Liar

ram-a-liar-16 When I refer to the liar or to lies in general, I am not talking about the little white lies that we tell to each other or to our children, like the existence of Santa or the Easter Bunny. What I am referring to is the type of person who lives in their lie or lies, and lies as a natural everyday part of their world. They believe the lie, they create a fantasy world by spinning a web of deceit in order to get what they want out of life. They have no respect for the feelings of others or they will often feign interest/sympathy/remorse in order to complete their goals. There are a few types of liars that we run across everyday and depending on their severity, will exhibit different symptoms, the two most damaging are the sociopath and the compulsive liar.

The sociopath is the type of liar that we normally associate as genuinely evil. He/she is lying out of a necessity to get their goals done. You meet them daily and with enough experience they can be spotted easily by the format they use. Usually a sociopath will end up developing a fixed pattern of lies and methods that work for them as their means to achieve their desires. You can see this in the manners that politicians run for office, in how womanizers and cougars work the bars (by offering a lending ear or flat out lying about marital status). Other forms of sociopathic behavior can be seen in the category of friends and friendships that appear and last only on sunny days or in easy times. These friends will abandon you or toss you out when they need to do work to maintain the relationship. They will only be your friends if you offer then something, be it entertainment value, drinks, a place to congregate, your college papers/notes. These are the passing friends that people describe when they talk about having lots of ‘friends’ and then later on, none. These friendships are toxic and one sided and if you look closely you can see examples in your life, and in the lives of everyone you know. The reason why is because their circumstances change and these persons have no concern for your feelings even if they appear to exhibit some forms of emotion. To a sociopath, everyone is a tool to be used and discarded when their utility is taken. Their world is a zero sum game that aims to succeed at the cost of another.  The sociopath and a sociopathic relationship is in general, incurable.

Check out the video below to see an example of a sociopathic liar:

liar The compulsive liar is a person who lies out of habit. These people are actually, more dangerous and the sadder of the two types of liars. A compulsive liar usually begins the lying habit from childhood, either out a need for attention or as a means of self preservation or desire to fit in. This type of liar is usually able to lie about anything and everything great and trivial because something in them gives them pain to speak truthfully about anything. This category of liar isn’t cunning or devious in many respects. More often then not, you’d find these to be people with very low self esteem and/or relationship loyalty issues. The compulsive liar usually requires another person to make themselves feel better about themselves and end up in codependent relationships where there is the victimized (in their own minds) liar, and the superman/woman who out of habit and genuine desire to help others, takes them on in a subconscious project. The compulsive liar in some ways can be cured or made aware of the lying habit. However anyone in a relationship with them will not be able to do the repair as they are the crutch and the liar is willing to lie just to maintain the crutch. It is only after the compulsive liar loses everything because of the lies, feels pain and shame from it (which they don’t when they lie) and desires to change themselves, that change can happen.

For an example of compulsive liars, visit this skit:–Mentirosa-Compulsiva

In both of these cases, the liar develops or is naturally able to lie. The best response is usually out and out confrontation followed by elimination from your life, or at least safe distancing. If you are (and I was one) a liar like those above, the only thing you can do to improve is to suffer majorly before you begin to heal and change as the habit is probably harder then smoking.


Written by Josecito

February 28, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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