Gnosis

just a site about nothing important.

The thing that has been growing on my finger since November 2009

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Ok everyone, it is high time that I write about this thing that has been slowly converting my skin, muscle and probably bone matter into an unknown region of my body. First a short history of what has brought me to this point:

Around November of last year I started jogging to lost weight when one morning I noticed a small lump on my index finger of my left hand, which is the one that I write with. Thinking that I might have been bitten or bumped it while I slept, I ignored it in the hopes that it would heal and be normal. After all, it didn’t really hurt, it wasn’t big, and things like mosquito bites, spider bites and being a stumbling idiot all come naturally to me. Being a man, I also tend to ignore matters of health and well being, and do not think too much about my future longevity or the seriousness of my health and my health problems. Naturally a month goes by and I do nothing, and slowly the thing grows and does not dissipate. The finger starts seeming interesting.

Mud%20Run%20002 By the roll over of 2009 and into the 2010 year, this thing has grown and began to concern me. Being the unemployed lump that I am, I start researching medical sites and searching for terms similar to my symptoms: a lump, finger, flesh colored, skin ailment. These things invariably lead me to the common and most obvious diagnosis: a common wart. It made sense as it was on my finger, seemed to spring from nowhere, happened in winter (when my immune is lower) grows and had the appearance of a wart. With my diagnosis in hand, I went to the store and bought the medicines that were designed to solve the problem and cure me of my ailment. Surely I’d be cured in no time!

In comes August of 2010, after several freezing treatments, acid nail polish treatments and every home remedy I could find, the lump on my finger hasn’t gone away. In fact, it hasn’t even flinched! Why did I wait so long? Well according to all medical info, a lot of warts can take months to go away and require several treatments and possibly several differing methods depending on the variety of the virus causing it. Yet despite all of this effort it didn’t even shrink. Perhaps my diagnosis was incorrect, maybe it is something else, so back to the internet I went, dismissing any and all wart issues, and continuing to look for this thing, slowly converting my lovely digit into a ball of fleshy evil. I found it!!! A-ha! Surely this is it, and it made perfect sense why it didn’t go away…cause it wasn’t a wart at all, no sir…it was…of all things, a CYST! Yes, a cyst…a lumpy wartlike growth or sac below the skin that appears suddenly and can easily be removed by a doctor in a few moments with a quick cutting of the lump. So I make the appointment and head out.

I call my local family care doctor, and ask him to look at this lump, which he immediately suspected was a wart until I told him the story so far. He then makes the same conclusion that it could be a cyst or even scarier, a possible arthritic node. The question would be solved when he opens it up. Which he did, and for one hour, he poked, prodded and inspected, and squeezed, and rechecked and lifted, and moved, and adjusted. “It certainly wasn’t an Arthritic node at all, nor a cyst or a wart, the skin looks normal and I can see up to the muscle fibers!” ;says he; “In fact, I have no idea what the hell this is!” Naturally I want to shit a brick as my doctor, with a lifetime of experience had to tell me that this thing, is still an unknown. He applies two stitches and tells me to come back in a week to take them out, and that when I return, the office will get me an appointment with a specialist, ASAP.

The week goes by, the stitches come out, and my doctors office get me a specialist appointment with a surgeon, who summarily tells me that, he is sure it is a tumor, that it is very serious, and that I need to get medical ASAP to get this thing removed so it can be biopsied, and a determination made as to whether or not said unknown lump growing on my finger is cancerous! So here I am, lump on hand, unemployed, uninsured, with a lump growing on me that might very well kill me, but I can’t know that until it is removed and studied, which I can’t afford. The surgeon summarily tells me to apply to welfare, a concept that I find abhorrent and utterly sickening. Me? The poorest of the poor? Not I! Surely there are others poorer, more deserving of help. Why can’t I just pay cash? Cause this, now necessary surgery to remove this tumor, would cost around $10,000 or so.

 

So now, here I am, still with a lump, nearly a year after seeing it, still unable to find a job (needless to say one with health insurance), being told that I have a tumor, it may be cancerous, and that it is very very serious, that I should apply for welfare and push like mad to get it, so that I can possibly save my life.

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Written by Josecito

September 5, 2010 at 4:04 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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