Gnosis

just a site about nothing important.

All Good Things…

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So this is my first blog of Windows Live Spaces so go easy on me. I have chosen to take up blogging after a long hiatus after I closed my Myspace account. Do I like blogging or writing in general? No, not entirely. Nor do I really like to share my feelings or opinions with anyone as they usually get me into trouble. I write my blog only because I have a desire to clear my mind of the train wreck that is my thought processes. Well it is that and to keep the art form of writing still fresh and clear in my own person. So really, this blog is for me, not you the reader. I could care less if you should read it or comment as that is not the purpose here. If you find my blogs cause you some form of happiness or an ability to feel a part of something greater and whatnot then I am happy for you.

 

So what can I say about this year? 2009?? Well it is ending quicker then I imagined. It is ending much differently then I imagined and I find myself reflecting a lot on the past and what has become of my life and my dreams over the years. A lot of people this time of year get depressed and lonely as they generally look at the negatives in life. I have a horrible tendency towards the sarcastic and depressing memories of my past. Frankly I am sick of it, I am tired of feeling like crap at the things that I have or have not done in my life. To what end does it help me? I remember being a child and being hopeful about things, about friendships, about love and family. Today I find myself mistrusting, closed, and with a very poor outlook on life. Before any of you who even read this decide to call the cops on a suicide intervention think again. I am merely reflecting on what I was in the last 9 years of my life. Imagine, being depressed and stuck in a rut for 9 years of your life. Why was I depressed to being with is a mystery left to the gods as I no longer care nor can remember why. If experience was any guide, I am sure it had something to do with me being unhappy over moving, a pet illness and possibly a bad grade received in a college class. and troubles with an ex girlfriend about 5 girlfriends ago! How pathetic is that I ask? To be sad and continue to be sad over an issue so far in the past as to cripple a decade of life? How many other things could one do with the limited time they have alive? Are there not much better things to be done, to experience, and enjoy then the misery that I brought upon myself?

There is, there are, and it is why I am restarting this blog. To record a journal of my experiences, to help me realize that there still are good things in life worth being optimistic about. To revel in a sunrise on top of a mountain, to feel sand beneath my feet and wind in my hair. The reason why I want to write is to help me remember new things that happen to me that are good instead of bad. If I am to be an optimist, I have to remember that there are good things and that they happen to people who do good things and get their lives in order. I have to believe that there is a reward system that exists, if only it be in our heads, that helps those who expect tomorrow will be better and who push themselves towards greater things and better living.

So what does this mean? Well it means that I need to start doing things differently and recording them here, so that when I feel depressed, I can log in, anywhere, and remember the good times and experiences I had, instead of wallowing in misery. The last decade of my life has had plenty of good things in it that I remember the problem I had was that I ignored the good things in favor of the bad. That stops today.

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Written by Josecito

December 31, 2009 at 6:01 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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